About Me

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My name is Ashley and I am 20 years old.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Baby I can see your halo...You know you're my saving grace...

Well boys and girls!
Here I am!
Happy Halloween!!!

I have been seeing this guy :)
His name is Brandon
and he is amazing.
He treats me so well,
just like a Princess.

I think this Cinderella
finally found her
Prince Charming...
For now, let's just
see how things turn out.


In other news!!! I am
all registered for school!
I start January 9th for
Elementary Education!

Books are gonna cost me
out of the tushie! D:

Well thats all I have for now...



Friday, October 14, 2011

It's been a while.

There are a lot of things going on.


It's been more stressful than ever lately.

My moms been in more pain
and I dont know what to do.

My uncle is an ass
and is losing the family he
has because he wants
to act like hes 2.

We are barely going
to make the bills this month.

I've lost 3 dear
friends this month
for no damn reason.
(they just stopped talking to me
and idk why)

I just wish everything would
go right for once!

The only things that have been
going right, is the fact
I start school in
January and I have my
friends and family.

I just... I dont
know anymore...

I think its bedtime.
Sorry for the shitty blog. (


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

You, me, and heartbreaks...

Funny little cupcake, aren't I??

                                                          I’m sitting here, with a coke zero
On one side of me, my phone on
My leg, my itunes on,
In pajamas, AND a band-aid
On my pinky finger.

I broke my nail straight across
Today at work
While helping a customer.
I was a baby and put a band-aid over it.
(Yes, I got a job at Staples!)

                                            Listening to: The Only Exception-Paramore

So, I have been thinking
About the good and bad things


For those who have not
Heard, R****** has
Been being a dick
As usual.
I went to my friends birthday
Party a week ago and
Had 3 shots.
I feel asleep on the couch
And he called twice.
I was sleeping so of course
I didn’t answer.
Well when I called
Him back, he called me
A whore, slut, cutting bitch,
Cock sucking whore, trith,
Whining slut, etc

Listening to: Slide- GooGoo Dolls!

Great isn’t it? Being
Called all of those things?
Way to make my self-esteem
And self-confidence
Shoot threw the
Damn roof!

Anyways… Work has been
Great! I have been
Doing so well!
I have been getting really
Good compliments from
The managers and senior
Associates. Not to
mention customers!
Even though, there
Are something’s
I need to work on,
I have been doing well…

Listening to: Just A Kiss- Lady Antebellum                

Well, now there is a new subject.
Some of my readers know about this.
I am in love.
(I know, I know but just read)
I have been for quite a while.
I.E. 4 years!
And NO! It’s not R******.
He is my best friend.
Even he knows!

I can’t wait to see him.
Vacation soon?
I think so!

Well, fuck that. He just lost
Me. Possibly for good.

Listening to: What’s This? -Flyleaf.

Well, I guess He-who-must-
Not-be-named was right.
I’ll never be good enough
For someone.
Obviously not, since
My heart is being
I just wanna be loved
By someone who wants me.
Not a “Oh you wear
Your heart on your sleeve
So I’m gonna use you”

Listening to: Uprising- Muse

I think I'm done for now.
I seem to be all
jumbled from everything
that happened in the
past oh, idk...
10 minutes???

More later.


Saturday, July 30, 2011

A new me...

This entry is dedicated
to my best friend!
*well part of it anyway*

Well, since I have been home
I have seen some changes.
I think the have been good
changes but I have been
told they are bad.

I have been acting differently
and trying to get a good head
on my shoulders.
Getting everything
put into place and trying
to get back into
a good habit.

Its going good so far.
I have my best friend,
family, a job,
a place to live,
 and a car to use until
 I can get one.

I am done being way
to nice to people who
do not deserve it.

My bestie is
helping me reaslize
I am much to nice.
I shouldnt be wearing my
heart on my sleeve like
I have been.
Being way too nice
has been my
biggest down fall.
I forgive without
thinking about the bad
things that have happened.
I forgive without
realising I am
setting myself up again.
This will happen
No more
Ms. Nice Girl.
Shes gone.

Well, this is all
I can think of right now.

More later.


Wednesday, July 20, 2011

My mother.

I know I
talk about my mom
sometimes and
not nessicarily
in a good way at times,
but todays blog is all about her.

I love my mom. She
is my hero for many reasons.
Being a young mother
at the age of 20, she did what
she could to give us a life
we could be proud of.
She divorced the man who
helped create me.
(I dont not recognise him
as my father.)
She worked 2
jobs and went to school,
just so we could have
a place to live, clothes, food,
and the nessicary items
to have a comfortable place to live.
She never asked for any help unless
we really needed it.
I dont want to say
my mother was proud of
everything, but she did
what she had to do.

My mother did the
best she could in raising me
the way I should be raised.
I have made mistakes,
but who hasnt?

When I was in 5th grade,
my mom married again.
I am proud to say
she is happy :)
They are going to celebrate
their 11th anniversary this year.

A few years ago my mom
was diagnosed with

For those who do not
know what it is, fibromyaliga
is a chronic disorder characterized by
widespread musculoskeletal pain, fatigue,
and tenderness in localized areas.

She never complains that she is
in pain or that shes hurting.
She works 7-14 days STRAIGHT
It hurts to see how much pain she is
in. She can't sleep in her own bed
because her hips hurt really
bad when she lays flat so
she sleeps in the recliner.
It makes me mad when
others are like "oh im in
so much pain from (insert words here)"
when my mom has a disease
she can't control.
It makes me just want to
run away and cry for
hours because I know
I can't do anything to help
her pain go away.

My mother is my hero for
everything she has done.
I wouldn't give her up for the
<3I love you mom <3


Sunday, July 17, 2011

There's just too much that time can not erase...

So here I am at 141 am
just finishing a ham

I am single. I
am tired of wearing
my heart on my sleeve.
I just like, openly give
my heart away without thinking.
I need to stop doing that.
I thought this relationship
would be the last one I would ever
have from the way we talked
about things.
I guess I was wrong?

Idk. All I know is
I am a fool to think
I will ever find the one.

Maybe I am over reacting.
Well, no I know I am.

All I know is I waited 4 years
to be with him, and I got
my heart broken after 12 days.
Although I will say, as
of this moment
the promise we made is
still in effect.

Going from friends to
back to best friends will be hard.
I want to marry this kid.
Like really bad.
He told me he felt the same
but as of this moment, I
know/dont think he does.

Once again, I was played
and looked like a total and
complete fool because of it.

Once again, I am not hungry and
I dont expect I will be for a while.

Once again, I am slipping back
to how I was before.
(before the whole Ri***** thing)

Shut out the whole world for a few
days so I can try and think without
wanting to cut and feel like
even more of a failure.

Time for movies.


Saturday, July 9, 2011

And I dont want the world to see me, because I dont think they'll understand.

Ok soo!!! A LOT has
again happened.
On the 4th, I began a new
relationship with a nice Christian
guy I also met through
the military. :)
I know whoever
reads this will be thinking
I am not ready for a relationship,
but hes amazing :)
and I could not be happier.

He is nothing like
Richard. At all.
I am actually appreciated,
loved, cared for.

I will admit I made
a mistake getting
with Richard when I
knew I shouldnt have.
I knew that my feelings for
David would still be there
even though he's my
best friend. I think
all along I wanted David, but
just didnt want it to
be akward considering he
IS my best friend.
I know now this is
the right thing for me to do.
I know he is the one.
I hope hes not reading this
only because I would
be uber embarrased for no
reason lol!

Well, its 3 am so I
need to go to sleep!
More later!!!


Friday, July 1, 2011

Swing, swing, swing from the tangles of my heart is crushed

So here I am.
Sitting at a desk in..

I'm finally home.
The only down side
is the friends I made
and of course not
being able to see him. :)
Remove those thoughts.
Its Chris I want to see.
Not Richard.

The past few days have
been crazier than crazy!
With in 5 days, I packed,
stayed at a friends,
got a plane ticket, shipped
stuff home, and
then came home.

I miss everyone I met
at The Wall. I made
friends I hope to keep
for the rest of my life.
<3 I love you alll!!!!

So the next post will have
more too it! I have to do
Laundry and stuffs!

<3 Ashley!

Friday, June 17, 2011

My Story.

Recently I read a blog by a dear friend
and it inspired me to tell my story.
Who I am, how I got here,
whats happened to me.

My name is Ashley Marie Gebhardt.
I am 20 years old and was born and
raised in the Illinois/ Indiana area.
My mom raised me on her own 
while working 2 jobs and going to school.

My biological father wanted nothing to do 
with me. Thank God for that.

Growing up an only child was rough.
I had imaginary friends and was
an outcast all through out my 
child hood.
When I was 11 my mom married
my step dad (whom I call Dad).
I finally had a stepsister.
Shes awesome :)

About 3 months after my 16th birthday I 
started to date this guy.
He was really nice at first, 
then things got violent.
He became extremely abusive.
Mentally, emotionally, physically.
He raped me. Twice.
I became pregnant. 
When I was around 3 months, 
I miscarried.
After that, I was so
torn, I began to cut myself.
I didn't cut deep enough
to leave any scars, but enough to
make myself feel better about
I thought I couldn't tell anyone.
I was so embarrassed, disgusted,
angry, sad, depressed.
I didn't know what to do.

I kept getting into 
abusive relationships because
I didn't know any better.

High school was my hell on
Earth. I was made fun of
every day. I never wore the right
clothes, had the right makeup, hair
eyes, body, shoes, money.
It hurt to see that because
I was different, I was an outcast.
I could try and change,
but why change when it
wont help?

Around my 18th birthday, I joined 
the military. It was one of the best
things I ever did. I knew that
they would change me into
what I needed to be to be 
a better person. Every night
I would go onto the "Future Solider Chat"
*Or FSC as we called it* and talk to
people who wouldn't judge me.
Who I wouldn't have to
change for because who
I was was good enough for them.

That's where I met 3 of my
best friends.
 I talked to them every day. 
We had all exchanged numbers
and talked during the day and
during the middle of the night.
*technically we weren't suppose
to exchange numbers, but we had
become best friends and didn't care*
They had helped me overcome
my issues without even knowing it.
Knowing I was good enough
 to be their friend, helped
me soooo much. I actually
Live with one of them now.

After I was discharged from
the Military, things changed.
I became more distant.
My friends and I hardly talked.
I became disgusted with
myself all over again.
 I didn't know what to do.

I eventually joined a Makeup group
on face book and make all new friends.
At first I was kinda iffy about it. 
But, now all of these wonderful Women
*and Jack* have become a 
huge part of my life. They make
me want to be a better person. They
helped me realize I am good enough
to be here alive. I am better than
what I give myself little credit for.
I know they care and can help me
if I need it.  
I honestly don't know what I
would do without them in my life.

After moving in with Richard, I became 
even more happy. Even now that we
are not together I am sort of happy.
That was an emotional patch, and still is.
Even though he broke my heart and
caused me to stop eating, I still
love and care for him and I
know he feels the same.
*even if he doesn't show it
all that much. :P jkjk*
Going from Best friends to
boyfriend/girlfriend back to
best friends is hard to do.
I know we can overcome this 
bumpy patch in the road though.

I know this was emotional. 
I know this was sad 
and happy at times. But
 Im glad I said all of this.

<3 Ashley

Thursday, June 16, 2011

the latest.

Richard and I broke up
as most of you know.
I think I am 
strangely over it now.
The only thing I am worried about
is the fact I'm not eating.
I think the past 4 or 5 days I've
had 2 granola bars and a slice
of Papa John's Pizza.

Im just not hungry :/

Anyways. I'm happy
that my buddy from Iraq 
is coming home!!!!
He's my new
designated cuddle buddy.
I know the transition will
be hard for him, but I
am willing to help him out
as much as I can :)
I'm so excited!!

I have an interview Monday
at Universal and I hope
I get a job!!!

This has been a very 
random blog, but I posted!


Monday, June 13, 2011

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Ohmygawrsh I'm finally updating!

So here I am.
Sitting at the desk with a mixed drink
of Tequila and Pink Lemonade,
FINALLY taking time to write 
a blog. :p

These past few weeks have
been kinda crazy.
I ended up going the hospital
with a severely bruised
We got our bigger apartment!
(ill post pics soon!!)
NOW, I have to job hunt.
Chipotle is giving me 
the run around again,
and I have had enough.

Richard decided to get me
drunk while playing monopoly.
Every time I landed
on a property he owned
with no houses was a Shot.
If it had a house 2 shots, and
a hotel was 3 shots. 
I got piss ass drunk, 
really fast. 
I ended up saying Hello
to the toilet with
my forehead!
teehee that hurt a little..

Im loving Florida so far!
Just a little homesick is all.
Well, Hobart better be ready
for December when I come back 
for a week!!!!!!
The weather is always hot.
No rain usually, except
for when Dumbledore(jk)
decides to let it.
I wish it would rain more, but I
don't see that happening anytime

I went to a bar/club called 
The bartenders/bouncers/DJ/GM
know us all by name and face.
I danced.
I don't dance....EVER...
But Richard got me to dance.

Serious Topic Now.
Living on your own, is NOT
like playing house. 
You know how when you're
younger you play house?
Yeah, nothing like it.
Not many people realize
what it takes to live on your own.
I'm lucky enough to have
2 room mates. (soon to be 3)
We all work all the time.
Our rent is now 789 *includes water*,
we have to get groceries, pay electric, internet,
phone, credit cards (I don't have any), etc...
Being Responsible has its perks though.
At the end of the night, I know
my little family and I will
have food to eat, a bed, and
a roof over our head.
There are thousands that have
no home, or cant eat every night.
I'm thankful we all can. 
I'm glad I can experience
it now, rather than later.
*end Rant*

Our friend Chris is coming home from Iraq
and I couldn't be more excited. I can
finally meet him face to face
rather than just talk on the internet
or Xbox Live!
The transition will be hard, but
I'm ready for it!
*Welcome Home!!!!*

Time to finish my drink so 
hold on a sec!

Yeah, didn't happen.... got sidetracked.

Anyways! I have to work tomorrow,
and I am less than thrilled -.-.
I applied at Build A Bear, so hopefully,
I can get in!!!!!!!!

I think thats it for now o.o


Saturday, April 16, 2011

Florida, week one! (and other things)

Hey everyone! 
Its been about 2 weeks since my
last post and I have been busy!

I made the transition from
Indiana to Florida with no
problems at all.
The time change didn't
screw me over at all, and
I adjusted with no problems.

A few days after getting here,
 I went to work with my love.
It was awesome! I sat around
and hung by the pool all day.
I was "adopted" by a family of 3
and they fed me and everything!
The only bad thing is, I burned.
BAD. I layered sunscreen on
myself and I STILL burned!
Oh well, its just about done peeling.
(gross right?)
 He and I are better than ever.
 I'm glad I made this
decision to move here.

In other news, the other night
Richard went to pick up the
roomie Justin from work at like 3 am.
Well, I either saw this or dreamt this. 
But before I tell you, let me elaborate
on something. 
Leading Paranormal Experts say
that an entity (good or bad) will
turn into a persons worst
fear the first night the person
is alone in a new environment,
at the exact time of 
the anti-hour (3:30 am).
Well, around that time I swear 
I saw an image of Richard
covered in his own blood 
standing in the doorway
of our room.
It was awful.
I refuse to be in the 
apartment alone now. 
If he goes to get Justin,
I go with.

I started work yesterday
at a new Chipotle.
It was great! Everyone else
was nice and the customers
are awesome!
I work tonight 4-11, then


anyways, time to get ready for
work now! Love you all!


Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Today has been hell...
It's like, no one is happy,
so Ashley can't be happy.
If Ashleys happy, she needs to
be made unhappy because no
one else is happy.
I'm seriously like about to
cry because Im so frustrated.
>.< what am I gonna do.

Im not gonna lie, I
use to cut. A lot.
I never left scars
because I didnt want anyone
to know, and I dont
wanna fall back into that.

Now Richard won't talk
to me :(

Nothings going right,
and I am a mess.
I dont know what to do anymore.
I cant stop shaking and
Im not sleeping.
I fake a smile to make
it look like everythings right
when I know its not.

Time to go cry so Im not as
stressed, but I doubt it will work :(


Tuesday, March 15, 2011


Dude, Im so excited.
I cant wait!!!
Im so excited...
Florida, sun, beaches,
Disney and.... sun...
and Me and DISNEY!!!
and Richard :P
*whos most likely reading this*

24 days!!!!!
I cant waitt!!!!!

I put my notice
 in work and
they basically bitch
me out everyday
because of it.
:( not something
I like to hear every
day I go to work.

Im so tired. I have
not been sleeping lately.
I think it's because Im
very anxious and stressed.

Anyway... Just to clarify:

I dont think I am
making a mistake.
I think I am making
the right decision.
If it does not work out,
that sucks.
I'm not gonna move
back to Indiana.
*unless something bad happens*
I think it will work out.
We are both adults and
can make our own decisions.

<3 Ashley

Friday, March 11, 2011

Help :(

So, I went to bingo today.
Im suppose to go to florida on
vacation next month, but
I decided to move :)

My friend (whom I'm suppose
to go to florida with) basically
told me to find my own transportation
to my new living space. Her friend
doesnt want to take me to it
EVEN though we will be
Then, she tells her "I dont want
her to stay with us because I dont
know her and she might steal from me."
I mean.... really?!
I dont steal. Im not
that kind of person.

My mom bitched me out because
she thinks I am gonna make a
big mastake and regret it.
I think I'm making a great
decision. I'm 20 years old.
I need to learn from my mistakes.
(Even though I dont think Im making one.)

>.< Oi vey. I mean really!

<3 Ashley

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Haven't been here in a while!

This was on the 5th.
I hit an oncoming truck at 20 MPH. Imagine
what would have happened if I was going faster!
I hit a patch of ice and tada! Look what
happens!! Im in some pain, as is my friend,
but we are all ok!
It was $320.00 to
get it towed to the yard,
held for 2 days, and towed home.
Its going to be $100.00's to get
it fixed and stuff.
 I need a radiator, fan, bumper,
frame, hood, lights etcetcetc...

I havent been on in a while!
I really dont have much
to write about! But Ill say what I can!

My dad is having surgery again today.
This whole heart surgery he had
really screwed his leg up since
they had taken a vein from their.
Hes getting it fixed today I guess.
They really kinda keep me in the
dark with this but I would rather not know.
So I dont blame them!

Everythings been kinda fucked up
lately with everyone. I hope everyone
is having a good week because I know
I havent been!

<3 Ashley

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Me, Kristy, Chipotle, and others...

So, since I started at Chipotle; 
I really didn't have any friends there.

Recently, I have been hanging out
with Kristy. She is our Cashier
on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.

She has literally become
my best friend out here.
She and I seriously have been
hanging out almost everyday and
have done everything together.
We just dyed our hair like 3 times
this whole week lol.
My hair is fried!! :)

Tonight her brother and I are 
staying the night.
She and I work tomorrow,
and her brother is watching
her daughter tomorrow.
*he IS kinda cute ;)*

Her daughter Brooklyn is ADORABLE!
If I had a picture, she would be on here.
Shes 2 years old.

In April we are going 
to Florida together!!!
I can't wait! I am 
hypothetically jumping
with joy!!!

I cant think of anything
else to write *type*
about so I think I 
am done for tonight!!

<3 Ashley

P.S. I miss everyone!!! D:

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Me, you, and other things.

So! Here is another post!

I am happy to say, I will never
order Glittersniffer Cosmetics ever again.
After everything that has been
said and done, Ms. Carolyn Setina helped
me make up my mind.

There MIGHT be a new guy in my life.
:) Not for sure yet, but hopefully
it works out!!!!
He's a really nice guy and
I like him a lot. :)

As of right now,
I am currently watching House.
Work tomorrow needs to go well.

I've been reading
"Memoirs Of A Geisha".
It is really good so far!
I can't wait to rent the movie
to see if it is as good!!!
Everyone says it is really good.
I hope it is!

I cleaned my car yesterday.
It no longer smells like feet!
lmao!!!! Now, I need to clean
my room so it is just as clean!

:) Thats all for now!

*peace love happiness*

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Its Been A While.

Im sorry it has been a while.
Theres been so many ups
and downs lately that I havent
found much time for anything.

Work has been better.
I just about quit the other day,
but I sucked it up and decided
not to.
Some co-workers and I
went to dinner and a movie
 the other day as a way of
getting to know eachother
better. I had a lot of fun.

I have learned some things,
and taught some things.
I know I havent learned
anything about myself.

 I lost 3 pounds!
I know Im all over with this
post but I havent posted in
a while so Im trying to get it
together tonight even though its not

Well its dinner time so
Im going to go eat!!!

*peace love happiess*

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Glittersniffer and other things!!!

Today, the family
went out to celebrate my
grandparents 50th
anniversary and my birthday!!!!
I had a great time tonight.
I had a great dinner
and dessert.

The only bad thing was
gratuity. 18% = 54 dollars.
I mean, really?!

So!!!!! In an hour and 25 minutes,
I will be 20!!!!!!!
Im so excited!!!!!!!!
Some friends from work
and I are going to the movies
and out to dinner! :)
Im kinda excited since
I havent hung out with them
outside of work before.

Now, after my blog,
Im going to choose some
eyeshadow colors for tomorrow,
re-do my toenails, choose some
clothes, and get some sleep!

Steelers are gonna kick
some ass tomorrow! I cant
wait to see who wins!!!!

Welllll, time to go for now!
Peace Love and Happiness!

<3 Ashley!
P.S. Go Steelers!!!

Friday, February 4, 2011

:D I love this song and other things!!!!

So here I am at 10 at night
listening to The Beatles!
I love the Beatles..

Today was a great day.
I got off of work early,
went to the bank,
dyed my hair again,
and that was it.

I wasnt feeling to well earlier,
but I feel ok now. Maybe
I was just hungry??? Idk lol.

So, today was my first day back
to work in 2 days because
of the snow. It was busy!
Its a good thing though!!!
I kept busy and not as frustrated
as I usually would be!
*I was kinda mad but
got over it fast*

So, tomorrow the Familia
is going tout to eat for my
Grandparents 50th
Then Sunday!
*insert -dun dun dun- here*
Is my birthday!!!!
and the Superbowl of course!
D: So much going on!!!!!

:D home-made soap that is!!
I can't wait to use it!
Owner Ms. Shayna Toole,
is a great friend I met
Glittersniffer Cosmetics!
Definitly check them both
out on facebook!

<3 Ashley!
P.S. Go Steelers!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Problems... what to do?

So, I've been feeling kinda
lonely lately. I dont know
what to do anymore.

Could it be because I'm
not in a relationship

Is it because I want to be with
someone I cant have?

Is it because Im
just.... me?

All these questions I have
confuse me. I know the
answers but I decide against them,
and confuse myself even more.

Why do relationships have to be

I dont know.

<3 Ashley
P.S. Go Steelers!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

blahblahblah- SNOWPOCOLYSPE 2011!


So, I had the day off of work. I went plowing with my neighbor!
I made 20 dollars just sitting there!
 The easiest 20 bucks Ive ever made! :)
No seriously though, I had a lot of fun.
I made funny noises when he would
push snow into a pile. It was funny!

All this snow kinda bums me out.
Why cant we all have nice 75
degree weather and be happy?
I kinda just wanna move to Florida or
Georgia and never leave.
Hello warm weather!

This snow is so deep, my dog couldnt
walk. He had to jump the whole
time lol. He looked kinda
like a dolphin when it swims.
*bobble bobble bobble*

We might not have to work
tomorrow. Hopefully not
because I wont have a way to get their.

Dear Mother Nature,
I really dont like you
right now. Please leave
as soon as possible.

<3 Ashley!
P.S. Go Steelers!

Monday, January 31, 2011

The saddest blog I will ever write.

I know I said I would write
this a while ago, but here it is. Please
understand this isnt something
I am proud about. But it is
something I want to talk about.

When I was a sophomore in
highschool, I was also in
band. And on December
second, was our winter concert.
My friend was there and he asked if he could
come over to my house for a while.
My mom said yes, so she drove us all home.

About 2 hours later, I walked him to the local park
so he could go home.
Thats when he pulled out a knife,
 held it to my throat, and...
you get the picture.

I went to school the next day with
hickies all over my neck. Getting
called a whore and skank wasnt
something I wasnt too proud of.

3 months later, I had
a miscarriage. It was terrible.
I cried myself to sleep everynight.

I didnt think I could talk to
anyone about it, so I kept
it a secret for 3 years.  I
felt so much better after I
talked to someone. I knew then
I am not alone. It happens everyday
to someone. Male and Female.

If this has happened to you
or someone you know, please
know you are not alone. You CAN talk
to someone and not be judged.
I know it hurts, and you feel gross, but
please report what happens to you.
Dont wait and shower, go right away.
If you or someone you know has
been a victim of a sex crime,
 Call your local authorites.
And Remember, You are not alone.

<3 Ashley
Go Steelers!

Friday, January 28, 2011


So today I am just gonna ramble
about everything and nothing.

I hate to say it, but
most of my friends live
in other states. I have like 4
friends here in Indiana,
but I am not old enough
yet to go out with them.
374 more days though!!!!

9 days until my 20th birthday.
Im kinda excited, but
I am more excited about
Kinda sad right? Im more excited
about a football game rather than
my birthday. I get to see family though!

Today was well enough, No work,
so I kinda slept in a little.
I went and saw Little Fockers.
I liked it, but I wouldnt watch it again.

I realised today, I have an
unhealthy obsession with talking.

Maybe because, growing up
I was kinda a loner as a child,
and also in highschool.
I had maybe 2 friends,
and I never talk to them now.
I know I have friends now, but they all
live in different states, so its kind of
hard to talk.
High school wasnt exactly
the best years of my life.
I was an outcast, got made fun of,
pranks pulled on me,
got talked about, the works.
Sadly enough, one of my friends Ex's
was one of the ones who
was mean to me.

I hated school and begged
my mom to transfer me,
but she wouldnt. The only
good part about school was my
music, and gradutation.

I know this is all like
uber depressing, and I dont
know where it came from.

mehh... whatever. I am
who I am because of what I
have gone through.

P.S. Go Steelers!

*A/N tomorrows blog is going to be depressing*

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Good news!!!!!

Today, I called registration for one of the
community colleges!
I register Monday at 9 am!!!

Im so excited I wanna go buy school supplies now!
Monday, when I find out what I need, I might go.

I cried today. I
wanted to make Don (My friend
who recently passed) so proud of me
and now when I have the chance and
I know hes up in heaven smiling.
He was really big on education
and would always ask me
when I would start school.

I know I can still make him proud.

My glittergirls are also proud of me.
As is my family and friends.
I love you all so much,
I dont know what I would do without
any of you.
*starts to cry*
The fact that you all have said you
are proud of me, means
soooo much to me. You
all have NO idea.

<3 I know tonights entry is short,
but this IS the end of it!!

Go Steelers!!!!

My shitty day.

SO! Everything at work has been going well... I should have KNOWN something was going to go wrong... It was just too good for it not to go wrong.

Well here it is...

The manager sent someone home, that was ok for the most part. Then we got busy so a prep guy came to help me. He didnt know what he was doing. So, I tried to stay as calm as possible, but by this time I was pissed. We had a HUGE line to the door and he couldnt work as fast as I was use too.

If any of you have been to Chipotle, you know how small the place is, a having a HUGE line, is not good. Not good at all.

Then, I asked him to do something and he freaks out on me, goes to the manager and yells/bitches about me, and walks out for the night. All because of something I asked. I get yelled at for asking him to let me know if he leaves the line because if I need him, I'm going to have to call for him if hes not back.

Since I was the one with seniority, everything he does, falls back on me. If he runs out of food, I get blamed. I have to run my side, and his food wise. I have to make sure nothing runs out, everything looks good and presentable, all the pans look clean, all the food is cooked and edible, all the pans get flipped when new food comes out, everything is stocked, all the food gets made right, etc...etc...etc... We pretty much ran out of everything at one point or another. Who gets blamed??? I do!

Then he walked out, I was by myself for the last like 3 hours. If the cashier wouldnt have helped me, I would have gone crazy. I had to do ALL of my pre-closing stuff, my closing stuff, restock, make sure everything is Clean and ready for the day shift, FIFO everything (first in first out).

A guy came in with his mom and got Carnitas tacos. She asked me "do the tacos come with rice?" I replied,  "tipically no, not unless you ask." He said "Yes they do automatically come with rice, I always get them like that!" The tacos do NOT come with rice unless you ask Specifically.

He goes and tells the manager I was extremelly rude to him and he wants his food refunded... Really dude???

I have been there almost a year. I think I know my own menu for my job.

We have to be done by 10:45. I got done at like 11:15.

So because all of that... I might get written up... I would LOVE feedback on this...

On the plus side, I know my glitterfamily is always there when I need them... Especially Laura and Carolyn! <3 Our late night talks make me smile... :)

Well, thats all for tonight.

<3 Ashley
Go Steelers!

Monday, January 24, 2011

OCD... what is it? how can we fix it?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a mental illness resulting in persistant illogical fears and ideas, and often, particular habits created and followed out so as to avoid the fears and anxiety they cause.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, commonly referred to as OCD; affects approximately 2.2 million American adults age 18 and older, or about 1.0 percent. *1 in 100 people have OCD*

Nearly 1/3 to 1/2 of all sufferers will find that their OCD has it's roots in childhood, some will even show signs in their pre-school years. Cases of OCD have been reported in children as young as 1.5, needless to say it's hard to make the diagnosis at such a young age (Lack of development of speech being 1 reason.). Around the age of 6 the linguistic abilities of the child make it easier to find out the existence of OCD, this co- relates with the age where most children show their first real signs of OCD.
In most cases however, symptoms will start to show while being a teenager or in early adulthood.

  • Although many people suffer from OCD, many are also still hiding their symptoms and surveys estimate that less than 10 % of those suffering are currently in treatment.

  • The presence of any aggression or oppositional defiant disorder has been said to indicate a poorer prognosis.

  • Typically OCD and it's symptoms will worsen due to Stress, Illnesses and Fatigue.

    -For Instance, I have OCD. I do things in "3"'s if you will.  When I wash my hands, I do it in a 3 count.
    -When I count things, I do it in 3's. When I type, I type letters in "3"'s.
    -I also have to have my clothes folded a certain way. If it is not right, I will do it over and over again, until it is perfect.
    -My movies and books have to be in alphabetical order, and by series. Nothing can be out of place.
    - I also, have to spell things correctly.

    It seems insane, but it is true.

  • OCD will evolve throughout a person's life. Some will experience moments where their OCD almost disappears or becomes milder. For these people the anticipation of knowing it will or might come back is very distressing. Others will see how the OCD takes over more and more of their lives and will eventually take over completely making it impossible for them to function normally in life/society, this of course if left untreated or when no serious effort is made to fight back.
    So treatment is crucial.

  • You have 4 approaches: Pharmacological., Therapeutical. and Self Help. and finally Surgery. Some will benefit from therapy alone, some from medication while most will find a combination of the options most helpful

  • I strongly am against the surgery. So, I ask if you do want help controlling your OCD, seek professional help. I, for one, love having OCD although at times, it is difficult to maintain. (especially at other peoples houses.)


    Sunday, January 23, 2011

    A little story from yours truely.

    This is a Jack and Jill story.

    This is Jack.
    Jack has a nice job, a nice car,
    and a nice place to live.

    This is Jill.
    Jill has an ok job, a crappy car,
    and lives at home with her mom and dad.

    Jack and Jill met a few years ago through a friend, and Jill fell
    for Jack instantly. 
    Jack and Jill talked a little, laughed a little, and joked a little.
    They had fun. *not that kind perverts!*
    Jack and Jill said their goodbyes and didnt meet again until 2011.

    Jill is feeling what she felt 3 years previous, but Jack doesnt feel the same.
    Jack wants to be friends. ONLY friends. Jill doesnt know what to do.

    Jack and Jill both just got out of relationships. Jill has moved on, Jack
    has moved on. Everyone, including Jill
    thinks they would make a cute couple.

    Jack has a big Ego. Jack is a sweet guy. Jack doesn't like Jill
    like Jill likes Jack. Jack just wants to be friends, but is aware of Jills feelings.

    Jack is a football and hockey fan...
    Jill likes hockey, and sort of likes football.
    Although the teams differ, its the game that counts.

    Jill thinks hes kinda a perv, but she thinks
    hes an adorable perv. Jill
    thinks she knows what to do, but isnt sure.

    Jill knows that Jack wants to be friends, but
     what if she wants to be more?
    Jill is confused.

    P.S. GO STEELERS!!!!

    Friday, January 21, 2011

    Weird things.

    Hello everyone!
    Today is about crazy things!

    1. If you put baby oil on your skin immediatly after you shower *dont dry off*
      your skin will be baby smooth
    2. Pickles help cure heart burn
    3. Mayonaise is good for an itchy scalp
    4. Crying is a good way to relieve stress
    5. There is an actual syndrome called "Textephrenia"
    6. Dying your hair unnatural colors can make your scalp bleed.
    7. 2 cups of blueberries a day can help you lose weight.
    8. After 8 pm your metabolism slows down.
    9. Dancing is a great way to tone your abs.
    10. Anything over 8 hours of sleep is considered oversleeping.

    Yeah idk... I didn't know what to write about. :/ Sorry guys!!!