The saddest blog I will ever write.

I know I said I would write

this a while ago, but here it is. Please

understand this isnt something

I am proud about. But it is

something I want to talk about.

When I was a sophomore in

highschool, I was also in

band. And on December

second, was our winter concert.

My friend was there and he asked if he could

come over to my house for a while.

My mom said yes, so she drove us all home.

About 2 hours later, I walked him to the local park

so he could go home.

Thats when he pulled out a knife,

 held it to my throat, and...

you get the picture.

I went to school the next day with

hickies all over my neck. Getting

called a whore and skank wasnt

something I wasnt too proud of.

3 months later, I had

a miscarriage. It was terrible.

I cried myself to sleep everynight.

I didnt think I could talk to

anyone about it, so I kept

it a secret for 3 years.  I

felt so much better after I

talked to someone. I knew then

I am not alone. It happens everyday

to someone. Male and Female.

If this has happened to you

or someone you know, please

know you are not alone. You CAN talk

to someone and not be judged.

I know it hurts, and you feel gross, but

please report what happens to you.

Dont wait and shower, go right away.

If you or someone you know has

been a victim of a sex crime,

 Call your local authorites.

And Remember, You are not alone.

<3 Ashley

Go Steelers!

ramblerambleramble...

So today I am just gonna ramble

about everything and nothing.

I hate to say it, but

most of my friends live

in other states. I have like 4

friends here in Indiana,

but I am not old enough

yet to go out with them.

374 more days though!!!!

9 days until my 20th birthday.

Im kinda excited, but

I am more excited about

the STEELERS GAME!!!!!!

Kinda sad right? Im more excited

about a football game rather than

my birthday. I get to see family though!

Today was well enough, No work,

so I kinda slept in a little.

I went and saw Little Fockers.

I liked it, but I wouldnt watch it again.

I realised today, I have an

unhealthy obsession with talking.

Maybe because, growing up

I was kinda a loner as a child,

and also in highschool.

I had maybe 2 friends,

and I never talk to them now.

I know I have friends now, but they all

live in different states, so its kind of

hard to talk.

High school wasnt exactly

the best years of my life.

I was an outcast, got made fun of,

pranks pulled on me,

got talked about, the works.

Sadly enough, one of my friends Ex's

was one of the ones who

was mean to me.

I hated school and begged

my mom to transfer me,

but she wouldnt. The only

good part about school was my

music, and gradutation.

I know this is all like

uber depressing, and I dont

know where it came from.

mehh... whatever. I am

who I am because of what I

have gone through.

<3Ashley

P.S. Go Steelers!

*A/N tomorrows blog is going to be depressing*

Good news!!!!!

Today, I called registration for one of the

community colleges!

I register Monday at 9 am!!!

Im so excited I wanna go buy school supplies now!

Monday, when I find out what I need, I might go.

I cried today. I

wanted to make Don (My friend

who recently passed) so proud of me

and now when I have the chance and

I know hes up in heaven smiling.

He was really big on education

and would always ask me

when I would start school.

I know I can still make him proud.

My glittergirls are also proud of me.

As is my family and friends.

I love you all so much,

I dont know what I would do without

any of you.

*starts to cry*

The fact that you all have said you

are proud of me, means

soooo much to me. You

all have NO idea.

<3 I know tonights entry is short,

but this IS the end of it!!

<3Ashley

Go Steelers!!!!

My shitty day.

SO! Everything at work has been going well... I should have KNOWN something was going to go wrong... It was just too good for it not to go wrong.

Well here it is...

The manager sent someone home, that was ok for the most part. Then we got busy so a prep guy came to help me. He didnt know what he was doing. So, I tried to stay as calm as possible, but by this time I was pissed. We had a HUGE line to the door and he couldnt work as fast as I was use too.

If any of you have been to Chipotle, you know how small the place is, a having a HUGE line, is not good. Not good at all.

Then, I asked him to do something and he freaks out on me, goes to the manager and yells/bitches about me, and walks out for the night. All because of something I asked. I get yelled at for asking him to let me know if he leaves the line because if I need him, I'm going to have to call for him if hes not back.

Since I was the one with seniority, everything he does, falls back on me. If he runs out of food, I get blamed. I have to run my side, and his food wise. I have to make sure nothing runs out, everything looks good and presentable, all the pans look clean, all the food is cooked and edible, all the pans get flipped when new food comes out, everything is stocked, all the food gets made right, etc...etc...etc... We pretty much ran out of everything at one point or another. Who gets blamed??? I do!

Then he walked out, I was by myself for the last like 3 hours. If the cashier wouldnt have helped me, I would have gone crazy. I had to do ALL of my pre-closing stuff, my closing stuff, restock, make sure everything is Clean and ready for the day shift, FIFO everything (first in first out).

A guy came in with his mom and got Carnitas tacos. She asked me "do the tacos come with rice?" I replied,  "tipically no, not unless you ask." He said "Yes they do automatically come with rice, I always get them like that!" The tacos do NOT come with rice unless you ask Specifically.

He goes and tells the manager I was extremelly rude to him and he wants his food refunded... Really dude???

I have been there almost a year. I think I know my own menu for my job.

We have to be done by 10:45. I got done at like 11:15.

So because all of that... I might get written up... I would LOVE feedback on this...

On the plus side, I know my glitterfamily is always there when I need them... Especially Laura and Carolyn! <3 Our late night talks make me smile... :)

Well, thats all for tonight.

<3 Ashley

Go Steelers!

OCD... what is it? how can we fix it?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a mental illness resulting in persistant illogical fears and ideas, and often, particular habits created and followed out so as to avoid the fears and anxiety they cause.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, commonly referred to as OCD; affects approximately 2.2 million American adults age 18 and older, or about 1.0 percent. *1 in 100 people have OCD*

Nearly 1/3 to 1/2 of all sufferers will find that their OCD has it's roots in childhood, some will even show signs in their pre-school years. Cases of OCD have been reported in children as young as 1.5, needless to say it's hard to make the diagnosis at such a young age (Lack of development of speech being 1 reason.). Around the age of 6 the linguistic abilities of the child make it easier to find out the existence of OCD, this co- relates with the age where most children show their first real signs of OCD.
In most cases however, symptoms will start to show while being a teenager or in early adulthood.

Although many people suffer from OCD, many are also still hiding their symptoms and surveys estimate that less than 10 % of those suffering are currently in treatment.

The presence of any aggression or oppositional defiant disorder has been said to indicate a poorer prognosis.

Typically OCD and it's symptoms will worsen due to Stress, Illnesses and Fatigue.

-For Instance, I have OCD. I do things in "3"'s if you will.  When I wash my hands, I do it in a 3 count.
-When I count things, I do it in 3's. When I type, I type letters in "3"'s.
-I also have to have my clothes folded a certain way. If it is not right, I will do it over and over again, until it is perfect.
-My movies and books have to be in alphabetical order, and by series. Nothing can be out of place.
- I also, have to spell things correctly.

It seems insane, but it is true.

OCD will evolve throughout a person's life. Some will experience moments where their OCD almost disappears or becomes milder. For these people the anticipation of knowing it will or might come back is very distressing. Others will see how the OCD takes over more and more of their lives and will eventually take over completely making it impossible for them to function normally in life/society, this of course if left untreated or when no serious effort is made to fight back.
So treatment is crucial.

You have 4 approaches: Pharmacological., Therapeutical. and Self Help. and finally Surgery. Some will benefit from therapy alone, some from medication while most will find a combination of the options most helpful

I strongly am against the surgery. So, I ask if you do want help controlling your OCD, seek professional help. I, for one, love having OCD although at times, it is difficult to maintain. (especially at other peoples houses.)

<3Ashley

GO STEELERS!

A little story from yours truely.

This is a Jack and Jill story.

This is Jack.

Jack has a nice job, a nice car,

and a nice place to live.

This is Jill.

Jill has an ok job, a crappy car,

and lives at home with her mom and dad.

Jack and Jill met a few years ago through a friend, and Jill fell

for Jack instantly. 

Jack and Jill talked a little, laughed a little, and joked a little.

They had fun. *not that kind perverts!*

Jack and Jill said their goodbyes and didnt meet again until 2011.

Jill is feeling what she felt 3 years previous, but Jack doesnt feel the same.

Jack wants to be friends. ONLY friends. Jill doesnt know what to do.

Jack and Jill both just got out of relationships. Jill has moved on, Jack

has moved on. Everyone, including Jill

thinks they would make a cute couple.

Jack has a big Ego. Jack is a sweet guy. Jack doesn't like Jill

like Jill likes Jack. Jack just wants to be friends, but is aware of Jills feelings.

Jack is a football and hockey fan...

Jill likes hockey, and sort of likes football.

Although the teams differ, its the game that counts.

Jill thinks hes kinda a perv, but she thinks

hes an adorable perv. Jill

thinks she knows what to do, but isnt sure.

Jill knows that Jack wants to be friends, but

 what if she wants to be more?

Jill is confused.

<3Ashley

P.S. GO STEELERS!!!!

Weird things.

Hello everyone!

Today is about crazy things!

1. If you put baby oil on your skin immediatly after you shower *dont dry off*
   your skin will be baby smooth
2. Pickles help cure heart burn
3. Mayonaise is good for an itchy scalp
4. Crying is a good way to relieve stress
5. There is an actual syndrome called "Textephrenia"
6. Dying your hair unnatural colors can make your scalp bleed.
7. 2 cups of blueberries a day can help you lose weight.
8. After 8 pm your metabolism slows down.
9. Dancing is a great way to tone your abs.
10. Anything over 8 hours of sleep is considered oversleeping.

Yeah idk... I didn't know what to write about. :/ Sorry guys!!!

<3Ashley

A Little Blurb About Me.

The following entry uses profanity. Please excuse it.

This is me :)

                                                       My name is Ashley Marie Gebhardt.

I am 19 years old.

I was born on February 6, 1991 at 0226.

I live in the US lol.

I work at Chipotle Mexican Grill.

I have a sister named Beckie, whom I love dearly

and I would do anything for her.

Including hunting down that guy and hurt him for hurting her.

Don't fuck with my family (include friends here!).

I have 2 dogs named Duke and Stan.

Duke is a boxer, and Stan is a terrier mix.

I love to read. I have my own "library" so to speak lol.

 I was in the Military, but was medically discharged.

I can play over 6 instruments.

*Flute, clarinet, percussion, piccolo, trumpet and saxophone*

Though my main one is the Flute.

I have had over 6 band directors and liked one of them.

My passion for music has increased over the years and will never stop.

I love all types of music except for country!

Put it on, and I shall dance!

"Music does what words or actions cannot"- Anonymous.

My mom raised me on her own for 8 years and did a HELL of a job.

She worked 2 jobs and went to school just to support us until

she met my step-dad whom I call dad.

She is my hero and I love her.

We look like sisters... Its kinda scary at times.

Im a goofball. A little ditzy and clumsy! I love my friends and family

very much so dont mess with them!

I can be loud and obnoxious, but I love to have fun!

                                                     

This is Lydia Rose Parks <3

She is my best friend and I love her dearly.

She has been through thick and thin with me,

and I will never be able to repay her for that.

Lydia, you are the Peanut to my Butter and

the Jelly to my bread! (no homo!)

I love you best friend!!!!

So, now you all know a little about me and my life. :)



Carolyn... you did it again!

So, heres me as of tonight at 162 pounds.

I would like to lose atleast 20-25 pounds.

My goal weight is 130 but, I'll take what I can get.

I work in food and it gets kinda hard. Working at Chipotle (even though our food is healthy) has advantages and disadvantages. I eat there atleast 4-5 times a week. I try to eat small portions and try not to get a burrito or tacos. A bowl with rice, beans, and cheese is good enough for me. The disadvantage, is trying to maintain a healthy diet.

I always say "Im starting a diet today." BUT! I can't seem to get motivated enough to actually start.  I take my vitamin everyday, and drink soda only at work. I drink water at home. I try and drink water at work, but seeing as I have drank soda my WHOLE life; it gets hard to stay away from it.

Cutting out soda and junkfood can help you lose weight. I hardly eat junkfood (ie mcdonalds and stuff like that). If I go out to eat, I get subway. I had 2 pieces of pizza from pizza hut the other day, but that was it. Energy drinks? Once in a while, but not as often as I use too. I mostly drink diet coke and water.

Another disadvantage is, because I eat small meals, I get hungry during the night. Usually if I do, I eat a pb&j with whole wheat bread. 

I know I am kinda all over with tonights entry but, I am writing as I go tonight; so please go along with it.

                     My main motivation SHOULD be my family. I don't want to end up like them. Most of my immediate family is overweight to a point where they are in pain because of it. It hurts me to see them like that. Knowing someday I might end up like them makes me sad.  I know I could go to a gym, but I work 330-11 most nights so its kinda hard because I sleep during the day, and eat when I go on break at work. When I get home from work, I am wired. I am so wide awake some nights, I am up until 6 am when my mom goes to work.

I need help ladies. I need ideas and some motivation to get my fat ass into shape.

What should I do???

Love and Friendship.

Todays entry is on Love and Friendship.

Friend–noun

 

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

"There is no greater Friend or Love than laying down your life for your friends."

What is a friend? Is a friend someone who will do anything for you? Is a friend someone who listen to anything and everything you say? Is a friend someone who has your back through think and thin?? Or even all of the above?

The definition of a friend can not be defined by a dictonary, because the answers vary depending on the person.

All throughout work, I asked customers what they thought a friend was. They all came up with something different. Heres some of the answers:

*Someone who cares for you
*Connects with you
*Scratched your back when you scratch theirs
*Shares feeling with you (no homo)
*Someone who helps you

So really, a friend can be anything you want it to be.

I think a friend is someone who is there for you no matter what. Someone who can make you laugh in the worst of times. Someone who wants to fuck your ex up for breaking up with you, and not even care about the trouble and danger ahead.

Now Love.

Love-noun

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

 

Love is a complete and different story.

 

Love is undefinable. There are so many different forms of Love. Love is... is... I can't even explain it...

 

I LOVE the smell of freshly mown grass and the smell after it rains on a hot summer day. I LOVE my family and friends...

To be quite honest, everyone has their own definition of love, and I am a fool to think I can define something that has many definitons based on each and every person.

Love can be shown in many forms though. From just a small gift to a HUGE thought put into action. From a first date to bending down on one knee to propose.
---------------------------------
I hope everyone liked tonights post. I know there could have been more put, but I wanted to post before midnight my time. :) Have a good night everyone!
I encourage everyone to comment on this post. I had a hard time thinking of things to put because of the topic of "Love".

<3 Ashley

*props to Carolyn Setina, Lydia Rose Parks, Elizabeth "Dillon" Christjansen, and everyone else who picked this topic!!!!!!!*

Just starting out.

So, this is the first time I have had a blog. Im trying to think of what I want to say. Ah! Here we go!

Last weekend (january 8th) I received some distressing news. A dear friend had passed away. I was at work when I got the news so I couldnt cry just yet. When I came home and got on facebook, I went straight to chat and talked to some fellow GS. They were all so supportive and said to let them know if I need anything.
I really love these girls. I know I can talk to them about anything and not be judged. So if any of you are reading this, thank you!  
Friday was the funeral. All the people there was just amazing. Who knew he could touch so many peoples lives? I met some pretty amazing people though.
 -Theres Haley, Don's niece. Really awesome girl. Shes really funny and is the life of the party, just like her uncle. I hope she doesnt read this because I really dont like her boyfriend. Hes not that great of a person.
 -Theres Erik, I already know him from previous events. Really funny guy. He knows how to make people laugh in the slightest of ways. *hi Erik!*
-Theres Mike, aka michigan Mike, aka Big House. He makes me feel short lol. Hes a really sweet person. Surprisingly enough, we had met before at a concert Don took us too! I still have to get some revenge on him but that can wait! *teehee*
I could go on and on and on, but I wont bore anyone any longer! Until next time!

<3Ashley